Touring Graceland With the Brother of Naked Art

This post is also referred to as "Never vacation with my brother." He goes "performance artist" on you when you least expect it.

Caution: May be offensive to those who live in trailers... :-0 and is a departure from our normal (relatively speaking) content.

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Did I ever tell you the story about how I was asked to leave the Graceland tour?

When we made our road trip to South Carolina, we made a stop in Tennessee (among others). We had been talking about redecorating the bathroom when we saw the sign for tours of the Graceland Mansion. I told M. about how Elvis died in the upstairs Master Bathroom and that maybe we can get a few ideas from the bathroom where "The King" died.

We go on the tour and it is very nice. There are some side stories whereby I contemplate whether mobile home culture is based on Elvis' house or whether Elvis' house is based on mobile home culture. It is tasteless although expensive. Imagine someone that has only ever know trailer parks who then wins the lottery. What house would they build? That's what Graceland looks like.

Finally we are on the upstairs and we are nearly done with the upstairs and I notice that we have not seen the bathroom. I politely ask where the upstairs bathroom is, so that we might see. They tell me that it is closed to the public. I explain it was the only thing I came here to see because we are planning to redecorate the bathroom. They tell me still, no. I ask if there are any pictures of the bathroom in the gift shop. They tell me again, no. At this point I am a little frustrated and start going on a paranoid rant about why do they want to treat the shitter where the King blew out his last load like its a state secret. I just want to redecorate my bathroom in reverence to the King. They make me leave. I yell that the people shall not be suppressed, we have the right to know what Elvis' bathroom looked like. They make me wait in the lobby with two obese security guards as I shout "Attica, Attica." M. was a little angry at me, but I tried to explain this is all part of that American Freedom of Speech thing. She was more gullible back then.

On the way out of town, we went to the Burger King where Elvis used to eat, they have pictures of every time Elvis or one of his cars came to that Burger King.

Remodeling one's bathroom is a very serious matter. Woe betide any who would dare stand in the way of a man's Water Closet Destiny.

----Brother of Naked Art

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Any updates on the statue of Elvis' Graceland's Master Bathroom would be greatly appreciated. Meanwhile, for those of you who want the Bathroom Remodeling idea that is giving new meaning to "going online," just click the link!